In Sickness and in Health

 

Does perfect health make a marriage?

I recently heard of a gentleman who is mighty fine looking, highly educated and not to mention living a well to do lifestyle (in other words ‘well-set’). Who would think such a brother is  having a difficult time in getting married?

Well….he is.

The reason is he limps when he walks.

Does this disqualify him from being a suitable match? He has everything going for him, his looks, fun personality, education and financial success.  So should something like that get in the way?

I know of others (both men and women) who are also good looking, highly educated and successful people who have certain ongoing health problems which are becoming a hindrance in their marriage search.

These individuals are loving and living life to the fullest on a daily basis, but because of medications or treatments prospects get scared and immediately turn them down.  It breaks my heart when I hear of such cases and can’t stop thinking about it.  Can I blame the potential prospects for turning them away? Or are they too quick to say no?  For the brother who limps, I cannot imagine why he would get rejected unless his prospects are embarrassed of him.

I can understand people being reluctant when it comes to proposals with health issues.  People worry about fertility and the concern of having to ‘take care’ of their ‘ill’ spouse.  It is human nature to be afraid of the ‘unknown’.

However, if there is a spark and an instant connection between the guy and girl, then there should be no concern. Many Islamic books have mentioned that a good marriage can overcome any hurdle, but a bad marriage would be a life-long hurdle in itself.

For the married couples, we all know marriage is not just a matter of two people playing house.  Looks can only take you so far, and we know that money does not fill a void.  Marriage is a commitment that should be tied with love, trust and mutual understanding.  Often times we know of couples who are living dull and loveless lives. The only thing tying them together is their children.

Certain people are indeed given tests and trials that are clearly beyond their control. Do these people who have exceptional circumstances or cases have no hope of getting married?
People with health challenges may end up having a better perspective on life due to the various tests and trials they had to go through.  Such tests may humble a person, thus making them better spouses.

Don’t get me wrong, I can understand why prospects or their parents may not want to consider individuals with health conditions. However, for those who accept these people for the way they are, then in my book they are pious people.  Such people have a strong eman and know that whatever test they may be put through, with the help of Allah SWT they will get through it.

So on the notion of marriage searching for people with health conditions, how should they go about it? Should they mention their conditions prior to even meeting their prospects? or should they first create an impression so people can look past their health challenges?

I don’t know the answers to these questions, hence the blog post! 🙂

Something to think and respond about…

Don’t Sweat It!

I’ve never worked out. I mean there were these two years in high school that I ran track, but I wasn’t even close to being an athlete. Now the whole family has joined the gym and we’re trying to lead a more active lifestyle.

The gym that I’ve joined is a lot like high school, the lockers, the basketball court and bleachers. I even sensed that awkwardness like the first day of class when I sheepishly walked into the yoga class. I had no idea there were thousand different yoga’s offered; Hot Vinyasa Yoga, Fitness Yoga, Vinyasa Flow Yoga, oh and I almost forgot Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga!

People high-fived each other as they walked into the classroom and were doing all kinds of warm up stretches which I pretended to ignore while I cooly hung out in the back. There were definite cliques and friendships that have been established. These women “the cool” ones were on top of their game. They were dressed the part with their black and pink Nike’s, black fitness pants and had an attitude like high school cheerleaders.

I was not intimidated like I may have been in high school or junior high but a part of me wanted to fit in and I suddenly wished I would have dressed the part a little better. I was wearing a washed out old tunic and these gray workout pants, I was most definitely not matching in anyway. I had even forgotten to wear the ankle socks and instead I was wearing old school crew socks that made me stand out even more.

As our teacher walked in and dimmed the lights I took a sigh of relief, at least nobody would notice my faded kurti and my unironed hijab (I need to take my own advice) The class began first with some light stretching and breathing – the teacher was incredibly nice and assured us that this was not a competitive sport but a place to relax, unwind and focus on ourselves.

I totally enjoyed the class and loved being able to be child-free for the time I spent in the gym.  The only challenge now is trying to find some modest but trendy workout clothes. So I contacted my blogger friend Farrah Khan of Greater Lengths, her blog is focused entirely on helping Muslim women create a modest and trendy wardrobe.  She has put together an post on modest workout wear! Check it out, I’ll be doing some shopping too, but in the meantime I’ll start by wearing my ankle socks, deodrant and bringing my desi Swag to the gym even if it is in my Cotton Kurtis.